brynplusplus: (Default)
[personal profile] brynplusplus
I watched some of The United States of Tara last night, which was interesting... somehow I feel a little bit guilty about it, like I did something I was not supposed to & I am going to get into trouble if I'm caught, which is very silly. But anyway, it was interesting for itself too. It was a lot more like seeing a real multiple than I was expecting, despite being over the top in all sorts of ways (who changes clothes every time they come out? where would you find the time?), and I am finding the next morning my biggest reaction is that I want to sit down with her system and have a Serious Conversation with them about a lot of their parenting choices (which are just horrible, wow) and how Tara needs to get co-con ASAP and a bunch of other stuff that I would not actually say uninvited to another human being because it is not any of my business, but with a fictional character it's different. I am I think kind of bothered that it got under my skin that much, that I am a little bit thinking of these people like they are real and out there.

There were two things that seemed off to me, from the bits I watched which were just pieces of episodes that looked interesting, not the entire 3 seasons. The first and really big one is the idea medication suppresses switching. This might MAYBE be true for some multiples with some medication, but is not A Thing, like nobody goes in for treatment for a dissociative disorder and gets handed pills for it, it is just a side effect some systems experience from anti-depressants or anti-anxiety pills. So I get why they made that up to make the show work, because otherwise how is Tara so totally unaware of the rest of her system? But it was really stupid.

The second thing, which did not bother me but seemed very unrealistic, is that nobody in her system is trying to hide. None of them had any shame about themselves, and oh, that sounds awful, I am not saying they deserved to, just... I have never met a system (and both in person and online we have met quite a few!) that didn't at least START by trying desperately to hide that they were multiple. For everyone in her system to just come out and change into their preferred clothes and use their own names and expect to be totally accepted, rather than trying to hide, was very interesting but it did not seem real to me. After all, in the show they were there to protect from trauma, and it is not a very good protection to be like 'Oh hi I am so-and-so let me go change into my clothes!' Thinking about it more... I think the people who wrote it forget that trauma-based multiplicity is a survival strategy, and so the kinds of things which happen in the later episodes to make things embarassing and hard for the family, are not really very likely to happen because there is nothing conducive to survival in switching like that.

Hmn, also, it was weird to me that her system did not know about each other or relate to each other very much, although that might have happened in parts I didn't know about. But then again, having been on that support forum back during the winter, I found out that LOTS and LOTS of systems are like that, where nobody talks to anybody or connects to anybody else inside. Maybe it is a thing that happens in a particular sort of trauma? Or if the trauma is fairly contained in time, like a few years and then it stops?

Date: 2014-07-13 01:56 pm (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
Our reaction was very similar! Well, after the Little Ones had freaked out about how horrible they all are to each other, both outside Tara and inside Tara and were afraid we'd start treating each other like that. And that er the 1950's housewife was very abusive to the teenage daughter.

I especially found the obviousness with which she switched kinda crazy and wrong. Like yes, that the writer had forgotten that the reason for DID is to increase survival, not make it worse.

And as for the pill that makes them all go away, well that annoyed me the most because without that, you know, like in the real world, then the entire show has absolutely NO basis. I think they could have done a lot better.

Date: 2014-07-15 12:32 pm (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
Yep, and can I have the pill too?

True about the lack of trauma-references in it. I think that's part of why it felt to me/us when we watched it, that the writers were using DID as a great hook, and like a circus show as opposed to actually writing about DID so

Date: 2014-07-17 11:44 am (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
Depends on what the pill actually did! If it made us not DID because it made us all integrated, I'd try it for a day or two, for the experience. But it sounds like the pill in the show made all the other alters go away, which would be horrible and no thankyou. I can get that effect when we're being traumatised or we're panicking and it's the loneliest place on earth.

LOL we didn't watch that much either, so yeah ... :-)

Date: 2014-07-13 01:59 pm (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
Oh and forgot to say I have no idea either, what makes some systems talk inside or not, or share inside, whatever. But going back to survival, I can see in our system, which had a mixture of both sharing/co-consciousness/communicating, and none whatsoever, before we got counselling, I can see it was a survival issue. Like we were more likely to survive is certain personalities only knew certain things. And where there was sharing that was also when sharing was likely to increase our chance of survival.

Date: 2014-07-15 12:34 pm (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
that makes sense, it sounds like you are more like we were. We HAD to have good information-transfer for some things.

Interesting about the person who knew about the multiplicity. How did he find out? And so you're saying because he'd ask for people individually, that increased the knowledge of the other people inside?

Date: 2014-07-17 11:42 am (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
huh. Without the specific asking for someone by name, that's pretty much exactly the process we had with dad and the Bad Things.

Date: 2014-07-19 05:31 am (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
Yeah that sounds similar to us too. Although we had names inside, but not to tell him about.

And it is very interesting it's the same process, isn't it.

Date: 2014-07-14 04:29 am (UTC)
weareangels: A white wolf mid-stride on a white background. (LC)
From: [personal profile] weareangels
USoT is so weird to me. Because, yes, a media representation that isn't weird and horror and Jekyll/Hyde? Awesome! But also, the alters are very...I don't know...stereotyped? Not that alters can't be stereotypes. Also there was that huge problem with them not hiding who they were. I mean, maybe it makes sense in a way that they didn't feel like hiding when they knew that the family knew? But watching the rest of the series, that doesn't make a lot of sense.

Also, gaaah their parenting skills. And so much drama. So much.

Date: 2014-07-14 09:46 pm (UTC)
weareangels: A white wolf mid-stride on a white background. (LC)
From: [personal profile] weareangels
That's a really good point. I think that's a lot better than what I was trying to get across--performing rather than being. That's the flaw of the series with me, but I watched all of it anyway. And yes, I agree. The subtle changes are nice. There's some of that in the third season, where alters don't change clothes or 'perform', so to say, but it's still a pretty triggering season and has a lot of other problems with it.

Date: 2014-07-18 04:01 am (UTC)
weareangels: A white wolf mid-stride on a white background. (LC)
From: [personal profile] weareangels
I liked how real the third season got, but also...eh? Her professor really irked me, for one thing, and I was sad that we didn't get to see more of Chicken. Also, at that point I started skipping over the sections with the kids, just because it was the same ground they had already covered, and it was getting tedious. I couldn't finish the entire season, though.

That's a good point. You would think at some point, maybe she would have looked it up online and found other people and resources and such? But I'm guessing that the writers didn't really know.

Date: 2014-07-15 12:44 pm (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
that being rather than performing, yup totally totally totally. The only ones here who might go change or say put on Their Jewellery might be the Little Ones coz they'd think it was fun, but I bet they'd get sidetracked by some other fun thing or pretty shiny thing to play with, and forget about changing!

Date: 2014-07-17 12:04 pm (UTC)
tigerweave: (Default)
From: [personal profile] tigerweave
that makes sense. It's like everything else, whatever works! I think multiple systems are very flexible by nature, that's my observation, anyway.

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