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[personal profile] brynplusplus
Wow it has really been a long time since I've written here!

Right now I'm at a lovely cafe where I have commented extensively on The Toast's open thread and eaten a grilled pork sandwich and drunk hot Vietnamese coffee and two glasses of water; I am drinking my third and looking out the window (not enough) and trying to read Lucy Knisley's French Milk which seems really just like the sort of thing I would like, but so far it is not. Maybe I am just overwhelmed with envy at someone who travels around so much and has a family and goes to New York City and of course Paris which is what the book is about. I am definitely going to keep reading and even if I don't like this one I will try the other one of hers I have. But I thought reading it might make me (or someone!) want to draw, and it does not at all instead it just makes me wonder why it is I'm not enjoying it.

It is maybe a sad thing that not liking something makes me want to come write here so I can talk about it much more than liking something does, but ... when I don't like something unexpectedly I do spend a lot of time trying to figure out why.

So what am I enjoying? Well we are rereading The Dream Thieves and it is fantastic. And the weather outside is amazing, it has been very cold (for here!) in the mornings but right now it is quite warm and sunny outside and there is a little wind but not too too much. It is supposed to be warm all weekend so hopefully we will go garden... I am not crazy about gardening myself but I like being outside and it makes some people happy to do and also just relieves some tension.

There has been a lot of tension lately, lots of past things bubbling up and circling around and occasionally moving through. I am really good at not feeling anything so mostly I do not feel anything about it, but I think if I did feel something it would be angry that I am not just 14 in this body which is so much older but that so much of people's time is spent trying to figure out what parts of the past to keep and what parts to let go of and how to honour who they were before but maybe move onto something new... ohhh, it is just complicated. Words are actually failing me, that is fascinating, it is not just a phrase, the words will not come and when they do come they are all wrong. And the cafe has gotten noisy again and these women at the next table kept interrupting me because they cannot plug in their laptops OH NO and I am sitting by a power outlet but there are two of them and only one free space and they were just going to stand there waiting for me to BE NICE until Sean said we were leaving in 10 minutes so they should just chill until them. Go Sean.

Okay, I will post this now, then we have to pack up really fast and go home to get milk for the kids and then go pick up the kids from school. I want like 2309482309 more hours like the last few. I do love our kids, oh gosh I love our kids, but it feels like every time we start to get enough space to breathe one of them gets sick or school is on vacation or something that means we are parenting forever. Whine, whine, whine.
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Bryn (Plus Everyone Else!)

December 2015

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