Mar. 5th, 2015

brynplusplus: (Default)
Really there is, but it is just latte foam with chocolate eyes, so it is cute instead of a crisis. :-)

We are out at a cafe! But almost out of time before we need to shut down the laptop and go get our kids from their various schools. Cassandra was starting to write a long thing about genre expectations shaping plots of books and other things she is thinking a lot about but then she got frustrated because words did not do what she wanted to do, so she saved it as a draft and she will work on it more later or tomorrow. You see, I wrote it here, so it must be true.

Things have been up and down, a lot more down than up sometimes. A lot of our life energy right now is going to... oh how do you say it in words? Trying to let light and air into emotional/internal spaces which have been closed off for a really long time, with the people inside those spaces often fighting it tooth and nail because they have been in the still dark for so long that the idea of anything different is really horrifying. It is a long way around, to let in some light, and then let all of the upset happen and the fighting and the shutting down everything so only the necessary things get done but there is not any living, and then maybe a tiny bit of space and more living and more light gets in and then another wave of upset and struggle and shut down... on and on and on. The new therapist is definitely helping because there is a space to open without the worry that parenting is going to come crashing down on us, plus she is just excellent in her energy, and a little bit pushy (maybe more nudges than pushes) without being dictatorial about it.

I would like to try to promise myself I will write in here, hmn, three times a week? But the problem with promises like that is you have to remember that you have made them, and you have to take them seriously so that you do them when you don't want to, and when things are shut down, none of that works. Even if I can manage the remembering (like setting an alert or something), shut down is the opposite of caring. So maybe I will have to just be frustrated for a while longer, I don't know.

I do really like this cafe, though. I will see if we can come again tomorrow!


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Bryn (Plus Everyone Else!)

December 2015

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